Does attaining your goals seem harder than it should be? Is fear preventing you from achieving your goals? If you feel challenged to achieve your desires, you may be listening to those negative “self-talk” voices in your head, known as fear, telling you that you can’t achieve your goals.
It is important to remember, you are not unique in having negative self-talk voices in your head telling you that you can’t do xyz. We all have those voices, some are internal, and some are external. Parents, teachers, you name it.
When this happens, we give our doubts/fear all of our power and attention, rather than pushing through the fear and reaching our goals. In reality, it’s simply a delay tactic. So, how would you know if you were letting fear keep you from reaching your goals? Here are two examples of how we let fear get in the way of getting what we want.
Perhaps you want someone to laugh with, to love, or to marry. But instead of focusing on that goal, you decide that there are all these other things that have to be done first.
For example, maybe you want to get into better shape before you can meet someone. Or maybe you need to get your finances in order and save a little money. Perhaps you need a better job before you can settle into that perfect relationship.
All of these prerequisites are creations of your mind. You can go about dating just fine without getting a better job first, or better shape, or whatever is preventing you from achieving your goal. When you’re looking for a lifelong partner, you deserve to be with someone who will love you for who you are right now.
Your goal is a career that’s interesting and fulfilling, one that fills you with a sense of accomplishment and pride. You want to feel excited, passionate and motivated in this next career move.
But instead, you stay at a job you dislike in order to make ends meet, or you like your co-workers, or you don’t have the time to look. It’s amazing how we can let so many little, and big things that get in the way of us achieving what we want that will make us happy. We devote our energy toward the belief that we can’t do what we want to do because we have bills to pay. Or because you are tolerating it. Not good, not bad, it’s ok. Maybe you like the people you work with, and don’t want to leave them.
Imagine for a moment what your life would look like if, instead of focusing on bills, or all the other things that keep you from achieving your goals, you spent your energy executing a plan to create a career that gave you everything you really want. Where would you be five years from now if you did this? Where will you be five years from now if you keep doing what you have been doing?
How to Stop Giving Your Power Away and Create the Life You Want
So, you’ve established that you do give away your power to obstacles you’ve created via that negative self-talk! What do you do now?
First, determine what you’re afraid of. Tell yourself you can have everything you want. Be specific about your goal. Then listen for a negative answer inside of yourself. Often, this will manifest as, “But I can’t… (I never, I won’t, there’s not enough…).”
Once you know what your “buts” are, you can assess your fears. “But nobody I really like would want to be friends with me,” is really you telling yourself, “I’m not good enough.” Or “I don’t have the time or energy to look for a new job.” Get the idea? Instead of using your power to achieve your goals, you’ve been giving it to a false belief that you don’t have what’s needed to accomplish what you want. You have everything you need to achieve your goals.
Now you have all the key information to prevent fear from getting what you want. Next time you’re thinking about how much you want to achieve your goals, listen closely for that voice that says, “But…” Then, stop saying no to yourself, push through the fear and get what you want! You are good enough. You have a lot to offer. You are lovable (responsible, capable, motivated…).
If you find that you have trouble talking back to the negative self-talk, there’s no shame in enlisting professionals to help. A counselor, mentor, or coach can aid enormously in this process.
Ultimately, your goal is to use your power to benefit you, not to tear yourself down inside. Give your power to the things that mean the most to you. Don’t let the voices in your head keep you from creating the life you want. Push through the fear and achieve your goals!
Please reach out if you would like help keeping those voices quiet and pushing through the fear to get what you want, happy to help!